Well things are a little scary right now. Sales are down. Executives are starting to panic. And shit rolls down hill. So everyone is feeling the financial frustration, but the commissioned associates are really losing it. My friend EG claims our co-worker TP is on diet pills due to evidence of mood swings but I truly believe we're all going a little nuts with sales down like 30%. We don't need chemicals to be this effing bitchy. Like this shark tank needed to be starved. This place was full of bitter jaded old hags BEFORE we started losing money! Step on someone's toes in this environment and prepare to get CUT!
What I wish I had today/sold today: Jo Malone Candle Trousseau. Holy Shit! Ten fantastic candles, a wick clipper, a snuffer-outer, all in a huge leather covered box. It practically sings Jingle Bells to you in the style of Bing Crosby. It's a dream and it smells like heaven. It's $595 dollars and everyone should have one. Seriously. Call me and order-I could use the money.
EG, of diet-pill-rumor fame, was kind enough to make little bookmarks for my novel last night while we were standing around doing nothing, yet while I wasn't watching. She's like a ninja. So now Iris Johansen's "Quicksand" is filled with these little slips of paper saying things like "Stop reading this crap..." and "ewww this book is baaad..." etc. Thanks, EG. You are an ass-face.
Speaking of "Quicksand"- Of course it's terrible but it's particularly infuriating because I think there are like three books in the series before this one. I hate it when I do that. Now I'm stuck reading it and generally pissed off that I ruined the ending of the other two by skipping ahead. That's two more trash novels that are dead to me. What a jip.
Counter Craziness: F was wandering around Beverly Hills at lunch yesterday, a man approached her, took her to Herve Leger, and bought her two dresses totaling $2200. She has a date with him and his black Amex on Sat. I hope it works out, but mostly I hope the level of drama stays at this cinematic level. He's only 16 years older than her. Stay tuned....
Hey guess what? It's the middle of effing November and it was 98 degrees today. I am sick of this shit. I'm not asking for snow, I'm asking for some mid-50's action. I have coats and boots I would like to wear. I don't want to sweat if I use more than a sheet on the bed. Pull it together, Mother Nature.
Luckily, yesterday was also a huge earthquake drill. EG and I participated by buying flashlights and discussing meeting places with our husbands should the big one strike at work. Just FYI: We're all meeting at Target and then we can feast on all my old Nutri-System food that requires no refrigeration. You scoff now, but when you're hungry and the power hasn't been restored in 3 weeks, don't come crying to me. Just kidding! Leave me a note in the courtyard near Formosa Cafe if you get desperate and I may have some instant Sloppy Joe for you. On that note...see you tomorrow.
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3 comments:
I have so much that I want to say about this entry, yet I'll be brief. FYI, in Oklahoma right now, the wind is blowing about 20-35 mph, making the temperature feel like the lower 30's to upper 20's....and...I....LOVE IT! One of the best things about moving back to Okie was getting to see my precious change of seasons, and I'm not referring to watching my sister go through menopause(which has also been entertaining, by the way). The Big One: that always scared the bejesus out of me and now that I'm in Tornado Alley again, I know about drilling where you'll meet, (or in our case, where you'll cower, hoping the wind doesn't lift your house off of yourself and your child), where the flashlights and transister radio are (I bought a really cool self-powering crankable one this year) and where the dry goods are stored. We all have our Mother Nature to battle.
I will buy five of those candle boxes. For $5.95, I'd be stupid to pass up easy x-mas gifts with all that stuff in it. No wonder you're pushing them. All that for under six bucks is amazing!!!!
I have some advice on the trashy novel front: just reread the one your reading now, mentally substituting the character's names with names of people you know. That should take care of the two lost books for you.
I love hearing stories about hookers with hearts of gold. Walkin around, just kickin' it...rich older guy propositions you and you take him for some fancy duds and a couple of free meals...it's all fun and games until Jason Alexander tries to have his way and smacks you around...I'd warn your friend.
Thanks for your order, sir. Five at $595 will ship on Monday. Say hi to weather for me.
Mmmm, instant sloppy joe.
*shudder*
The best part about all that food is it all tastes pretty much exactly the same. That's right, that's the best part.
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