ALERT! THERE HAS BEEN A MAKEUP TRAGEDY!

I just went into my bathroom to find out which Glow On Blushes from Shu Uemura I should blog about, and I've LOST one of the two that I can't live without. Everyone needs to stop whatever the hell they are doing and help me look. Sure the M Pink 33 was there but the M Peach I-have-no-idea-what-number was nowhere to be found. How can I be expected to go to work now? I need to tear my makeup apart to find it! I am considering coloring my hair red, and must have that femme little peachy compact AHHHHHH!

The super fancy shit is expensive for a reason.

I have a love/hate relationship with Cle de Peau. I hate the price. I hate that they discontinued the Illuminating Powder in that taupe color that made my cheekbones magically higher and thinner. I swear to god that thing took 10 pounds off my ass, it was so pretty. And suuuuure, you can get that weird little highlight/lowlight duo, but there isn't a brush small enough to use that tiny little square of powder. No, I will not use an eyeshadow brush to contour my cheeks. I have better things to do. Like sodoku. So screw off, Cle de Peau!

I'm sorry. Please, Cle de Peau! Don't walk off in huff! I love you! You know that Cle De Peau Cream Foundation - No. B10  is the only foundation that really matches me. I do love your new cheek color! I do! The #1 is a brown pink combo the world has never seen.

Cle de Peau, you make me a better artist. I only try to make you proud.

If everybody is buying it, why do you want to?

My answer: buy the popular stuff so I have it in my arsenal, but wear the weird/new/edgy stuff. Most of time. Except when I want consistent results. Then stick to the popular stuff. Ugh. There is no answer. You know how McDonald's is so successful? You know exactly what you're going to get. It will come in a certain package and have the same taste every time. So, no, it's not a culinary masterpiece, but you can depend on it. These are the McDonald's of blushes. Go find a Glamour magazine that doesn't have one of these guys in it.

Do you own
Orgasm?
Because everyone should. It is the most famous blush EVER and I have no numbers to back that statement up, but it's totally true. You need it because it is the perfect shade of pink/peach and it complements almost every skin tone. I find it doesn't last on me, but nothing does, so I might as well put on some hiking boots and get the hell over it.

My mom hates this blush. The delivery system, the damn puff on the top, is awkward and applies color in bursts that are nearly unblendable. That being said, I think the colors in this line are effing gorgeous. A little bit tranny, but super fancy. And I say unscrew the top and deal with loose pink powder all over your countertop.
YSL Yves Saint Laurent Touche Blush

Fine, I may have issues with Armani Foundation, but the blush is real real nice. I usually put #5 on anyone who stands still long enough. It's like brown and pinky and stuff. And whooo-eeee does it sell.

You gotta have some good skin for
Benefit Cosmetics Benetint.
But man, for people looking for that natural flush look, this is THE item. It still makes me a little prone to screaming, "Grow UP, lady!" to people wearing it, but I will try not to. Anymore. I mean, it was just that once.

Really? You can't be more creative than
Chanel Joues Contraste Powder Blush Orchid Rose?
What a snooze. Sure, you have been wearing it for 9 years, since you got it when you got your make-up done for prom, but that doesn't mean it isn't time for a change. OK, fine. It's pretty. And goes on well. And the girl at the Chanel counter says, "Don't fix it if it ain't broke," every time you buy it. But just stop already, will you?

If you use too much bronzer you will look like you just rolled your face in dirt.

Bronzer is one of those things that you must use, but you can do it really badly. My pal Jenny from the block has got it figured out. Hell, her artist, Scott Barnes, tried to launch a whole make-up line based on his success with this woman's cheeks. On her face! Dirty minds! Well Scott's products tanked but J. Lo's look is still imitated.


In my mind a matte bronzer is key. I like Bobbi Brown's because she offers 5 matte tones, including Natural which has a touch of pink in it.



Do not get mixed up with her Illuminating Bronzers unless you want one of the pink ones. Which is confusing. Pink blushy colors are in the bronzing line. Why?

Have I mentioned I think shimmer bronzer is a bad idea? AVOID!

I do own Antigua Illuminating Bronzing Powder and it's a great blush, but darker than I might have guessed just looking at it



So how do you not screw it up? Use a little not a lot. Brush it from the hairline to the bloom of the cheek, hugging the underside of the cheek bone. If you want to get a little color all over, think about where the sun hits your face: cheeks, forehead, nose and chin. There is also the school of thought that you should be making a 3 on each side of your face: run the brush from the forehead to under the cheekbone to under the jawbone. See how that might be considered a 3? I really should figure out how to draw on here.

Remember if you got carried away, or dipped into a deeper color than you meant to, use a little transparent powder to blend it out. Use a different brush, otherwise you could very well make it darker. Not the intended effect.

Oh HEY! Recently Bobbi also got a clue a redid some of her brushes. Dude, thank god. That old bronzer brush was so hard it could make you itch just looking at it. And it shed. Oh man, the shedding. So this is a vast improvement! Very soft. I still can't commit to the shape, but I can't think of a better one.



Bobbi Brown Bronzer Brush

Laura made a Cream Blush that doesn't suck!

Geez, you know it doesn’t take much to get me excited about cream blush, but this is ridiculous! A highlighter too? Paired with a pretty pink? IN CREAM? Somebody pinch me because I must be dreaming. I have been wearing this everyday for the last two weeks. It’s limited edition and already hard to find, so get it on the quick!



Ok, fine. you insist on powder. Another limited edition item but the prettiest pink. Dior.