DANG! Them Is Some Crazy Bitches, Fightin' Over Purses.

So another day in the bizarre world of retail...Handbags and Shoes are up to 70% off on Tuesday and presale started day before yesterday. Which means we have been swamped. It is an hour wait to check out in those departments, and the Chanel bag boutique is being handled by a security force of 3 managers, letting only a handful of people in at a time.Yesterday someone elbowed another woman in the shoe line. Some crazy bitch wanted a bag another lady had just picked up so she scratched it with her fingernails. Times are crazy. Basically taking all these sales are a loss but it clears out inventory, which I guess saves us from certain peril. Or something. The company has been experiencing some lay-offs, but I guess they're not too bad here, at this branch. Also the company has a huge cash reserve for just such occassions as the world coming to an end economically, so we aren't going out of business anytime soon. That's good. Because our stock price just dipped below $3.00. Yikes! So that was the morning meeting.

My job today is to think up a caper for The Boss and I to perform for the store meeting on Dec. 5. This mostly invloves lunch and coming up with ways to make fun of each other. This year's show involves my "character" getting arrested at the Grove for drunk and disorderly conduct, dressed as an elf. But that I have been let out of the clink long enough to do the show and feature all the new gift items in cosmetics.We are upping the ante by using a powerpoint presentation to show photos of my arrest and subsequent jail time. Should be interesting. The Boss's major concern is who he can convince of the cute straight boys in the men department to do the show with us. Shirtless. Always looking out for #1, that one. I am so lucky my $100,000 theatre education is going to good use.

Speaking of. Went on a couple auditions this week. Non-Union commercials are where bad actors go to die. And I can't even book one. Yet. How hard is it to pretend to be a mom driving a Mercedes and making turns? Harder than you might think. Call backs aren't until Dec 2nd, I still have hope. And I could use the money.

Today, just a quick shout out to MAC. All of their gifts sets are cute, usable and affordable. And it's MAC. They have everycolor in the rainbow and some of the hottest trend colors in the business.

My poor little old Emma is acting weird again. So back to the vet for her. It's an interesting struggle. When I'm at home, I'm encouraged not to worry too much about her, but I come to work and all my friends are like, "OMG take her to the vet!" I hate the bad mom feeling. But I think I do need to chill out on the obsessive worrying.

I went to see "Little Dog Laughed" and I can't recommend it enough. It was such a pleasure to see my "freundenvolves" EH and JG as well. It was nice to see a play that was entertaining all the way through. And the Diane character was made for me.

All right. This has been a waste of a day. The Boss says I'm in no mood to write today, but I haven't sold anthing either. GREEEEEAAAAT.

Ok.

Well, several things have been brought to my attention. I forgot to feature a cosmetics item yesterday, so I'll have to feature 2 today. Also....Well now I've forgotten my also. So that's just one thing. Oh well.

Ok. Today's Items: Concealers Everyone Needs.

Cle de Peau stick concealer- the best. The silkiest stick, easy to carry and at $68 a bit of a show-off "I'm in the know" type item.

Touche Éclat from YSL- Everyone needs a highlighter. This little clicker pen is in every make-up bag on the cosmetics floor. Illuminates the undereye area in one sweep. Come in like 5 colors now.

Laura Mercier Secret Brightening Powder- You know how powder makes everyone look 105 years old? And how concealer cakes, cracks and moves? So you need powder that is fine in texture and won't fall into lines. This is it. I've also used it all over my face if I needed a little lift.

Shiseido Corrector Pencil--How 'bout that weird red spot near your eyebrow? This little guy fixes her right up. Can also create the perfect lip line by drawing outside of the color, then blending.

Ok. That's enough stuff.

Acting Lesson of the Week: Who is that person in the scene with you? What do they mean to you? What keeps you in the relationship? Things to think about.

Robin Thicke's wife, Paula Patton is hot. And incredibly nice. Just FYI. BTW.

Tonight is all about finishing Kahlua supply online purchasing and reading that Sanford book. If any of you are interested in some recommendations (That's you, SM in MT) you could try:

The Secret History by Donna Tartt
The History of Love by Nicole Krause
The Time Traveler's Wife by....er....uh
The Story Of Edgar Sawtelle by That One Dude (PS: I forgot to take this the other night, EM)
And then join the rest of the nerds in the world and read the Twilight series.

Ok. EG and I had Salmon Carpaccio and Albacore Sashimi and a Picasso Roll for lunch. And now I'm starving. Only one more hour in hell.....

Shocking. Really.

A married co-worker went out on a date with someone else or threatened to, or whatever, and is now carrying a "How to Get Divorced" book around with an exceptionally long face. Shocking.

F's date with the guy who bought her the dresses last week was "fine." Her goal is to not put out for a month. Really?

The Iris Johansson book "Quicksand" is awful. Not Shocking. So I started the new John Sanford "Heat Lightning" and it is incredible. SO great. Virgil Flowers is such a great character and Sanford's writing is so articulate, I laugh out loud and visualize each scene with a 360 degree, full-color view. And I haven't been to Minnesota since the eighties.

I just got an employee review. Turns out I don't sell enough stuff from other departments. But I don't know shit about clothes or bags or shoes or jewelry. I work in Cosmetics and am an expert in at least 10 different lines. And you want me to learn about skirts? Really?

I also lost 15 points on said review because I hate opening store credit cards. They are a rip off and have an interest rate of like 27%. But I am not allowed to have an opinion about that. Shocking.

I need to memorize my scene for class tonight, but can't concentrate, what with all the non-business going on. So I went Christmas shopping around the store. we have double discount right now, and it seems stupid to pay full price for anything this season. So I think I got the main players taken care of and I'm making Kahlua for the rest of you. Really. Strong. Kahlua.

I had the best idea ever for a gift for my pops. And all I want to do is go home and start making/designing it. Shocking: I'm crafty n' creative. (Sidenote: When I was in Girl Scouts, I was a camp counselor with my pal KS and we ran the craft shed. I have a bevy of crafty experience.)

Last night I went to The Boss's birthday party and it was a trainwreck, as I knew it would be. Weird people were there and the hostess, SN, wasn't feeling well, had a cut finger, and disappeared into the bedroom for a long period with her boyfriend. Who is strange. So to break up the monotony, my friend and favorite bad-influence BB and I decided to take pictures as if we were getting caught doing coke (that's right, the drug! Shocking!) at a Hollywood party. The pictures turned out GREAT, but pissed of BB's boyfriend, The Boss, and made one of my co-workers JS believe we were actually snorting blow. When it was explained to her that it was just staged and that it was just flour, she asked, "What the hell is Flower? Is it a new drug?"

Shocking. Really.