Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Better Living Through Chemistry?

Theoretically, I am mildly depressed, or find myself "a little down" more often than not. My thoughts generally take a simple slight and make it into a huge slam on me as a person. Or, for example, someone doesn't take my advice on a lipstick color and within five minutes or so, I question what the hell I am doing with MY ENTIRE LIFE. I need to lighten up. Or stop navel-gazing. I alternately think my therapist thinks I'm in big trouble and thinks I'm just looking to get attention. I can't tell.

But today I couldn't take Miss Krazy any longer and popped half a Xanax I've had lying around since the Clinton administration (or I stole it from MKBB during a trip to Bev Center) and I feel like $1,000,000.

But isn't that supposed to make me more depressed? Am I actually having anxiety? Why didn't I get a medical degree so I could treat myself? Why can't I have full understanding of the human brain? And existence? See? I take things a little far.

Anyway!!!!! Today, in a shout out to my main gay, JH, of NYC, I love Shu Uemura lipstick. Sheer, but full color, shiny but not glossy, shimmery but not frosted. And it doesn't smell like....well....anything.

Also, this blog is dedicated to JJ and her Lunesta.


From 12/9....
Today is paranoia day. I must be the only one who can't sell anything. Or at least I feel that way. It seems like everyone else is still nabbing the big sales. Not as often, but occasionally. I'm sure it's all in my mind, but holy guacamole am I feeling the pain.

So I am considering asking to go to four days a week in January. Other departments have already downsized like that, so it might be an option with The Boss. He won't like it, but it might be worth a try. Of course, with an extra day off I would have to do something that someday might pay the rent, otherwise I would feel major "holding-up-my-end-of-the-bargain" guilt. So that would mean that one day a week I would have to write the damn novel. Or enough of a short story to send to contests. And if I can't bear to sit with the computer, I will have to go to the gym. MSNBC is off limits, and so is the current book I'm reading. Maybe I'll get desperate enough to go to the gym AND write. That would be awesome.

The new year is bringing a new system for Girl Scout Goal Girls. This time, there's money involved. We'll have five overall yearly goals, and each month we'll have five actions to be accomplished. BUT for every monthly goal not achieved you have to pay $5 into the pot. At the end of the year, we get an expensive dinner, but we're hoping we accomplish so many of our goals we're forced to go to Taco Bell.

So I really need to think about what needs to be accomplished in 2009. Ideas?

Today's product? The Clairsonic facial cleansing brush. It's so soothing and soft as it hums and cleans all the grit and grime off your face. I had it used at a spa in Ashland, Oregon and have loved it ever since. His and hers are on special for $350, but one on it's own is $195, I think.