Even really shitty technique with shadow can be improved by massive amounts of mascara!

Ok. I have a obsession with mascara. But I also have a secret belief that they are all the same. But that's not true, because I  hate a bunch of them. So it all comes back to me being a bossy fickle bitch again.

Mascara has what seems like endless possibilities but it boils down to two questions:
Do you want more lashes or longer lashes?
and
Do you require waterproof shit that will not come off without a jack hammer and vaseline or just regular wash it off stuff?

My answers are almost always VOLUME aka more lashes and NOT WATERPROOF...unless it's a wedding or a funeral. Shit that says it curls your lashes is going to encourage curl but just suck it up and buy a curler. I like Nars Eyelash Curler or Shiseido Eyelash Curler. Then put one of these beauties on and call it a day.

YSL Volume Effet Faux Cils : realllly pretty because it looks like patent leather even when dry. The tube runs out of juice very fast but it's worth it  If you have $30 to spend every three weeks.



Armani Eyes To Kill Mascara : the best shit out there. This formula lifts and separates like an extremely expensive bra.



Cle de Peau Volume Mascara : kinda messy, but worth the clean up on aisle 5. Triples the size of an individual lash. I have no proof of that. But that's what it looks like to me.


 Lancome Hypnose Mascara
is just good basic mascara. Nice and soft and not clumpy or shed-y.



Lancome Paris Definicils High Definition Mascara  : I included two lancome mascaras without even meaning to. They make great mascara. It just works. They sell a bunch of it, too.


Chanel Inimitable Waterproof Multi Dimensional Mascara : this has one of those plastic tooth brushes that really apply color to each and every lash. Super popular with my artist buddies.


Christian Dior Diorshow Blackout Mascara : This is one of the ones that I kinda hate. Diorshow Mascara has that big teddy-bear brush that gets mascara all over my face rather than my lashes, but that could be because I am a klutz. It's kinda gloppy, too. But Blackout is VERY black, and I adore really dark shit.


Estee Lauder Magnascopic Maximum Volume Mascara  is suprisingly good. I keep ending up using this because it lasts forever and the brush stays in shape even if you use the tube everyday for a year. But don't do that. Bacteria loves mascara, that's why Oprah will tell you to replace it every three months.

Shit I like because it has kick ass texture....

Christian Dior L'OR DE VIE LA CRÈME Precious Cream

...this shit has the most anti-oxidants ever or something. Made at Chateau Y'Quem. 


Erno Lazlo 3-9
A healer for sensitive skin, it feels like oil-goo which a word I just made up.


Mario Badescu Aloe Moisturizer SPF 15 is a favorite of a really affordable brand. Combination skin, come hither and feel the magic.


Kiehls - Ultra Facial Moisturizer have you figured out how much I love and appreciate SIMPLE SHIT?



Simple! Unless it's really fancy. Then I like that, too. Like La Prairie Skin Caviar. While you're at it, get the large size for $695. Thanks.