4/14

So every 6 months there is a mother of a sale. It's called friends and family, but if these crazy bitches were either of those things I would eat a handful of rat poison. And this year, it is half as lucrative, which makes it EVEN LESS bearable. The whole idea is to make a ridiculous amount of money to make up for the years it takes off your life in stress. Last year I rang about $50,000 or 4500 in commission. If I make $35,000 this year it will be a miracle. That is a $1400 pay cut for yours truly. Hells yeah!

And starting in June, I will be living through a pay cut of about $10000 a year. And my man just got his weekends, which were overtime heavy, cut entirely. And we owe the IRS $3000, due to general assholery at my man's studio. AND our Bank of America credit card just sent us a letter that basically informed us that we needed to call them if we didn't want our APR to go to 22%. So we called. Which was kind of a big deal, since we usually throw that kind of fine print credit card mail away. And we get to keep our 4% APR. But if we use the card it goes to 22%. Translation: they just closed our fucking credit card for no reason. We doubled the minimum for years, carried a balance and were never late with a payment. Obviously we fucked up. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

So things are well at the ranch. Maybe I'll get skinny, due to lack of food affordability. Thank God I can get Clarins Body Lift free around here.

And I'll have to get more self-disciplined about this whole acting and writing thing, because classes sure are off the table for the moment. Wow. Being terrifically talented and toiling in obscurity is sure getting overrated.

Note to self:
I should have spec scripts on file for: Law and Order, House, How I Met Your Mother, and suggestions....? Then I would just have a packet I could force on every lit agent in the city. Or I could order a cocktail and mime another cigarette....

4/10

Ok. The full moon has brought out the best and worst recently. I have learned a lot.
1. It is easier to get up in the morning if you keep repeating "Things are getting better" rather than "Everything will be fine."

2. I completely obsess when I feel like someone I love is upset with me. I also get outlandishly angry and 7th grade about the whole thing. Thanks to those who let me rage.

3. I have almost fully become a "character." I get great joy entertaining others with my bitter sarcasm, mimed cigarettes, and full (not mimed) martini gesturing. Too bad she's just a figment of my imagination.

4. Jo Malone has a new body scrub. Get into it.

5. Acting lesson: Assume you are being seen and heard by the audience. They aren't as stupid as you think they are, Jan.

6. Tattoos are weird.

3/31

Things may be looking up. It looks like the sweeping changes in the cosmetic department will happen in May. I will be line assigned, and if all goes as planned, I will be on a line that I really like, all by myself, with friendly bosses on the vendor side. All this news makes me almost happy about working. I think it will be a great change for me, and renew my spirit a least a little. My own little domain to lord over sounds good to me. Now, I just have to live until May and not eff anything up.

Also. With the good comes the bad.....thirty of my co-workers will be out of a job. And no one is hiring. So that will suck. Keeping a job is important right now.